This page is to document how Travis Alexander was abusing and controlling Jodi Arias. Note: the worst abuse is not continuous, it is rare.


"There have been many times when you have been like miserable and I've like... raped you." Travis Alexander, Sex tape.

An abusive series of text messages 26 May 2008 (Day 19, 2:08:32 into the video) :

Alexander calls her late at night (1 am), and sends a text. He wanted her to read an email he had sent her.She was asleep and groggy, and couldn't read the email, because that would wake her grandmother, who had difficulty sleeping. So she lay thinking about this for a few moments, and then slipped back into sleep. In the morning, there is a text message from Alexander to Arias ( 26 May 2008, 8:35:02 ) :

"You couldn't get off your lazy butt to read it could you. That's the sociopath I know so well, it freakin figures."

She explains that being called a sociopath isn't too bad, he has called her worse.
She sends an apology for not getting out of bed and not going to read his email ( even though she couldn't do this without waking her grandmother ).
Why do you feel the need to apologise? She explains she didn't want him to be mad.

Another message from Alexander ( 26 May 2008, 09:11:11 ):

"I don't want your apology I want you to understand what I think of you. I want you to understand how evil I think you are. You are the worst thing that ever happened to me."

She explains that this made her feel "not good, yucky".

Another message from Alexander: ( 26 May 2008, 09:14:02 )

"You are a sociopath. You only cry for yourself. You have never cared about me and you have betrayed me worse than any example I could conjour you are sick and you have scamed me."

She explains "betrayed" refers to a promise she had made not to tell anyone about his issues (sexual attraction to children) if he promised to get help. Another stipulation she made was he couldn't stay the night at his friends house because they have children, until he got help, and her understanding was he did stay there, so she reminded him about getting help and also sent him a pamphlet to help him get help. He was not happy she kept pushing him to get help.

I believe these may have been sexual fantasies, rather than any genuine attraction, but Jodi may not have understood this, and considered it to be an attraction, or at least worrying.

An exchange beginning with an email she sends him in May 16 2008 ( Day 18, 3:57:34 )

( For now, I will give only the closing words, more of the email is viewable at the above link, Roughly, she is saying she wants to break off all contact but still be friends. )

"I love you and always will always be here as your friend and confidant. Take comfort in that if it brings you any.
Faithfully your friend,
Jodi Arias"

This leads to another fight, according to her testimony. ( Question: is this documented elsewhere? )

Testimony on why Travis asked her to wear the boy spiderman underwear ( Day 16, 3:51:10 )

Nurmi: This conversation you were having or had with Mr Alexander after you viewed his masturbating to an image of a young child what was the subject matter of the conversation?
Arias: Umm, mostly about (pause) he was explaining (pause) to me ( Objection )
Nurmi: Without telling us what he said, what was he explaining to you? ( Objection, hearsay, sustained )
Nurmi: After that conversation did you come away with the understanding that Mr Alexander had a sexual interest in children?
Arias: Yes.
Nurmi: Did you come away with the understanding that it was boys and girls or was it just one or the other ( objection, rephrase )
Nurmi: Did you believe him to have an interest in young boys? ( objection,over-ruled)
Arias: Yes.
Nurmi: Did you believe him to have an interest in young girls?
Arias: (pause) I already knew he was interested in young girls, but they were like sexually mature girls, but minors.
Nurmi: Ok. We'll talk about that in a minute but I want to finish this conversation.
Nurmi: Did he express.. Did you come away with the understanding that you could help him with this problem?
Arias: That's the impression he gave me.
Nurmi: And what was your understanding of how you were to help him with this problem?
Arias: He preferred sex with women.
Nurmi: Why?
Arias: It made him feel normal. More normal.
Nurmi: In this conversation was there any discussion about why he wanted you to wear the boy spiderman underwear?
Arias: That was the reason for it apparently.
Nurmi: The reason being, if I understand you correctly that he liked pretending that you were a young boy?
Arias: I didn't ask him what he was visualising but .. that's (objection,speculation,sustained)
Nurmi: That was your understanding of why he was doing it after the conversation, right?
Arias: Yes.

Note: The existence of the boy spiderman underwear is corroborated by a text message.

Arias is suicidal and blames herself ( Diary entry Sunday 26 August 2007 )

I just wish I could die...

Jodi's broken finger

Need to explain how it could not have been first broken on June 4 ( Ryan Burns ).

The courtroom demo relates to the prosecution claim that a photo dated around May 2008 showed it unbroken.
Nobody disputes it is broken, the only question is when.
It cannot have been June 4th, the day of the killing, because Ryan Burns must have noticed it.
There is no proof that it was on the day Jodi says, but that's highly plausible.
The most serious DV incidents occur when the abused person leaves or attempts to leave.
That causes fear in the abuser, which triggers the violence.


Tee-shirt and underwear

Tee Shirt.jpgClothing.jpg
I don't think Jodi looks at all happy in this photo, I believe this is evidence of coercion.
These garments indicate to me an unhealthy relationship, they are not an appropriate Valentine's gift within a normal relationship, in the context of the Mormon church, and the education of Travis and Jodi at that time.
Testimony ( Day 15, 3:24:04 )
( Note: I am not suggesting this is some kind of absolute, it's a question of whether adults are fully consenting, and properly able to distinguish fiction from fantasy. )

Testimony of Alyce LaViolette
That if Mrs Hughes sister wanted to date Mr Alexander that she would forbid it.
There was reference to a particular woman, and his manipulation of that woman. There was information about Mr Alexander calling Miss Arias a skank and acting like it was a joke.
There was information about the way he ignored her in public places and would not allow her to put pictures of them up in places where other people could see them.

Notes re the 16 page message, around 15 minutes into part 2 of day 41, as per http://jodiariasisinnocent.com/jodi-arias-trial-video-3-jodi-arias-is-innocent-team-jodi/jodi-arias-trial-video-day-41-jodi-arias-is-innocent-jodi-arias-not-guilty/

"I have rarely heard words strung together as they are in this instant message."
16 pages of abuse.
Specific words are important. Name calling versus character assassination.

In the 16 pages:
What a freakin whore.
He accuses her of going on to the next dick.
He tells her her words are worthless.
He hates her.
She's caused him more pain than the death of his father.
She's a rotten lunatic.
He's never dealt with a more solid form of evil.
She's nothing but a liar.
She lives a life identical to satan.
She's a three hole wonder.
She ought to get tips for giving bjs.
She never loved him.
She's got a slut's job.
Who freaking cares about you you're worthless. You're a bitch.
You're lies make your life worthless.
You're taking up people's air.
You don't care. You don't know what horror you've caused me.
You're a laughing stock.
You don't care about anything but Jodi.
He blames her for a lot of the pain he feels in his own life.
He tells her he was nothing more than a dildo with a heartbeat to her.
You're demented.

"They certainly are tearing her character apart."

There is much, much more, but I'm stopping here for the moment. Enough.


See also:

Quotes from the Hughes emails


“Know that I would love to see you marry Jodi, but just because you have never seen her cry, doesn’t mean she hasn’t been crying, SHE LOVES YOU, so much that she is afraid that bringing up anything that is bothering her or letting you know she doesn’t think you are ‘perfect’ would ruin all chances to be with you.” Sky to Travis

“He doesn’t call her during the day, he waits until after 1 am (giving her what is left of him at the end of every day). He jokingly calls her a skank. He tells her to go out with other guys, but makes her feel guilty when she does. Thus keeping control, without having to give any commitment. He kisses her in the dark, when no one is around, and messes around with her, but won’t commit to her. ... she loves him more than anything, and will do anything for him.” Sky to ??

“She was being treated horribly, you weren’t beating her physically, but you were emotionally, “Travis, with love, you are a heart predator. You take great joy in making women fall for the T-dogg. You laugh about what you can get away with. It would scare me to death if my little sister liked you, in fact I wouldn’t allow it.” Sky to Travis

“(Jodi) has given you everything, all control, and you give her 3 am calls and make-out fests. I tell her this, and it is what she has been feeling. She asked why? I told her that she is filling the physical spot that Deanna doesn’t. But Deanna fulfills everything else for you. That is not to say you don’t enjoy talking to Jodi. But with Deanna fulfilling all but physical needs, and with Jodi fulfilling the physical, you feel fulfilled.” Sky to Travis

“I adore Jodi. In fact, I don’t know if it has ever been easier to be nice to someone as it is with Jodi.” - Travis to Hughes

“You (Chris and Sky Hughes) have caused irreparable damage to mine and Jodi’s relationship. She is paranoid that this evil person you have depicted will someday surface. No matter what I say or do she will always have in the back of her mind this person that lurks in the shadows.” - Travis to Hughes